Bite Me: A Love Story Chapter 2

2. Test 1. The Countess Abigail Von Normal is A. Emergency Backup Mistress of the Bay theatre of operations Dark. B. A Gothic hottie consumed by the banal hopelessness of existence. C. Not perky, scarcely dark, complex, and trs mysterious. D. tout ensemble the above, and possibly more. 2. The vampire Flood and his nosferatu maker, the Countess Jody, were imprisoned in a bronze shell in the pose from Rodins The Kiss because A. Their love is permanent and their mingled souls will live on in romantic embrace to the oddment of time. B. Foo and I were pretty sure that the Countess would go FOAKES (Freak Out and Kill Everything in Sight) when she found out our plan to turn the Animals back to human. C. We just want to look at our friends, naked and bronzed, because it gets us all hot. D. I cant conceptualize you picked c. You should get a big L tattooed on your forehead to provided people time in figuring out what a ginormous unsuccessful person you are You wish that Foo and I nee ded pervy preludes to stimulate our orgasmic, toe-curling soul-sex. Trust me, the temperateness weeps that it cannot achieve the blistering hotness of our nookie. 3. Despite myths perpetrated by jealous daytime dwellers, the nosferatu are only vulnerable to the effects of A. Garlic. (Right, because pizza and the breath of vegans will quell their ancient power.) B. Crosses and holy water. (Oh right, because creatures of darkest evil are total bitches of the muck up Jebus.) C. Silver. (Uh-huh, and aluminum, because that makes sense.) D. Sunlight. 4. My and Foos greatest challenge as minions is to protect our dark masters, the Countess and Lord Flood, from A. Cops, specifically Inspector Rivera and his clueless Gay Bear partner Cavuto. B. The most gloomy old vampire and his mysterious fashion-vamp posse. C. The Animals, slacker wastee night crew from the Marina Safeway. D. All of the above and whatnot. 5. Our best chance of defeating Chet, the huge shaved vampire cat, is A. sneak ninjas. B. A big hug while wearing my most navigate UV-LED leather jacket, fashioned for my protection by my aforementioned muffin master, Foo. C. A saucer of tuna blood laced with sedatives and kitty-butt flavor. (I observed in his spring mortal form, that Chet loves kitty-butt flavor.) D. Make a vampire Rottweiler to rock Chets worldview. E. Either a or c, but definitely not d wouldnt a be trs cool? Mouse ninjasAnswers1 D, 2 B, 3 D, 4 D, 5 EGive yourself one point for every right answer. bring in5. You rock my stripy socks.4. loser3. Trs Loser2. Such a Loser that Losers pity you.0-1. Spare us your contagious loserness. Next bridge you submit? Over you go.